Hi friend,
This past month, I’ve been thinking a lot about death. Not in a morbid way, but the concept of death and rebirth, endings and new beginnings, the continuous cycle.
I had the contrasting experience of attending a family member’s celebration of life, directly followed by meeting a friend’s newborn baby. And as I write this on Mother’s Day, my own mother is visiting her hometown in Iowa for another funeral. It’s interesting the ways we celebrate people’s lives before they’re even born and after they’ve passed, but what about all the moments in between?
Of course, we have birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestones. But shouldn’t we also celebrate more of the little things along the way?
I recently started asking my team at work to share a win, celebration, or shout-out during our morning calls, and sometimes it’s like pulling teeth. I know it’s harder to share our own accomplishments or things we’re proud of, and I know we all have a negativity bias — a tendency to only remember or see the worst parts. Which is why we must pause and recognize all the amazing things we’re doing, big and small. Otherwise, we’ll just keep going through the motions until we reach the end with no sense of satisfaction or fulfillment at all.
Death can be sad or scary to think about. And I want to acknowledge that it is sad when a loved one passes, no matter how comfortable we’ve become with the concept of death. We never know when it will be our last time doing something, going somewhere, or seeing someone. But this can also be a beautiful reminder to live more fully right now. To do or say the thing rather than putting it off until later.
Because, of course, there is no guaranteed “later”...all we have for sure is this moment, today.
My contemplation about all this is that maybe accepting the reality of our mortality — the inevitability of the many endings and new beginnings that will occur throughout our lives — actually helps take away some of the fear or pain.
Maybe it’s not morbid to talk openly about death with your loved ones. Maybe when you acknowledge it, rather than avoid it, it helps us appreciate life even more. And helps us remember to practice being present. To be where our feet are planted.
Spring is supposed to be the season of rebirth, shedding the layers of winter and coming alive again. But before we can do that, we first need to fully release whatever needs to die to make space for new life.
When I start feeling afraid of endings, I think of a lesson from yoga philosophy about the Hindu God, Shiva, who represents the cycle of destruction and renewal. It reminds me that life is constantly asking us to let go of what no longer fits, and to trust that something new will grow in its place.
If this topic feels uncomfortable or taboo or just not for you, that’s okay :) We all make meaning of life and death in different ways. For now, I believe we’d be less afraid of endings if we allowed our fear to live out in the open rather than keeping it to ourselves.
May your month of May be full of life and lots of love,
Marta
Btw, if you missed any other monthly wellness notes this year so far, they are all posted here: https://wellnesswithmarta.com/blog.
What I’m reading/listening to: The Body Is a Doorway by Sophie Strand